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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Only Thing

I'm feeling like it's time to write a blogpost about what life has been like over this past year. I just read my friend Nicole's blog about what goals she has accomplished this year and thus... here I am.

It's amazing how much marriage speeds up your maturity rate. I always thought I had a pretty good grasp on life, that maybe I was smarter than your average bear. However, I have come to realize that I will never get it figured out and just when I do, something else will get thrown in and throw off my entire theory of everything... YES, everything.

Except one.

I try not to be self-righteous or preachy. I could try and be politically correct, but this is my blog dang it, and it is me, and the most important part of me is being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I always knew that, but marriage has helped me to realize just how much I need Heavenly Father every single day.

Heavenly Father loves us so much. As frustrated as I get with almost everything else in my life, my Heavenly Father never gives up on me. Life's meaning is so much more clear with that lense. I often tend to want to curl up in a ball and forget all of my problems. WHY do I have to be an adult! Why do I have to figure out how to balance life! Money! Who knew money would really ever stress me out! Callings! Family! Self-Esteem! Work! Friends! GAH! Politics! Ignorance! I tend to stress myself out all too often. How could there ever be a remedy to calmn my so easly troubled soul?!

When am I most happiest? When I am doing the things I know are right. When I have my mind fixed on what is most important and THAT is pleasing my Heavenly Father. Oh! If I pray more, I find that I have a listening ear of someone who is perfect and will send the help I need just when I need it? OH! If I read my scriptures every day I will feel the courage and strength to do everything that is required of me? OH! If I keep paying my tithing, unannounced, unexpected blessings will come when we really could use them?

When our priorities are right - our lives will be too. Does that mean they are going to be perfect? No. Even when I am doing those things, I have still spent many a night crying my eyes out.

But after all of those months, I can feel the difference in myself. I feel happier. I feel wiser. I feel confident. I feel vastly more mature. I feel peace. I know I am not the same person I was a year ago and I know that the reason I feel infinitely more optimistic about well... pretty much... everything is because my testimony has taken hold of my soul and pointed me in the right direction.

Life is awesome. THANK YOU Heavenly Father, for that gift.